


Unrequited

by Ameliaponds



Series: Tom Holland x Reader [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Marvel RPF, Spider-Man RPF, Spiderman RPF, tom holland - Fandom
Genre: Actor Tom Holland, F/M, Marvel fanfiction, OFC - Freeform, Tom Holland/Reader - Freeform, Unrequited Love, marvel actor fanfic, tom holland - Freeform, tom holland fanfic, tom holland x ofc, tom holland x original female character - Freeform, tom holland x reader, tom holland/ofc - Freeform, tom holland/original female character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 15:43:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18813970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ameliaponds/pseuds/Ameliaponds
Summary: You never thought you would be the girl who ended up falling for her best friend, but here you are. Coming clean about it and facing the truth is harder than you could’ve possibly imagined.





	Unrequited

**Author's Note:**

> highkey this would happen to me anyway enjoy lmk what yall thank ty

You couldn’t remember a time in your life when you weren’t in love acting.

It was something you had started at a young age as a school hobby. Eventually, after what felt like endless amounts of begging your parents, they agreed to enrol you in acting classes for your 12th birthday.

Over the years you landed quite a few minor roles in quite a few different TV shows and movies, but it wasn’t until 2015 when you finally landed yourself a  _real_  role.

You certainly didn’t expect the show you were hired for to get that big, but now it was 3 years later and almost everyone knew you as Jonathan and Will’s sister in Stranger Things.

You were so incredibly proud of everyone you worked with for creating such an amazing show, and you were so happy to have what felt like a second family.

The fame took some adjusting to, having paparazzi follow you around, swarm you for a picture or ask you personal questions on camera. However, you wouldn’t give up being an actress for anything in the world, it had been your dream for what felt like forever.

Not to mention you loved all of your fans more than anything for supporting you and believing in you. It was like having best friends all over the world because they cared for you so much.

One of the other perks of being on your show was the opportunity to attend award shows, as well as being nominated for them.

When you heard that the Oscars had asked you to present an award, you couldn’t say yes fast enough. You had dreamed of attending the Oscars since the first time you watched it, and although you were not nominated for anything you didn’t care at all. To you, attending and presenting was more than enough of an award.

That was the day you met Tom.

* * *

You knew who he was, of course. You had always been a fan of Spider-Man through the different reboots, as well as a fan of Marvel. Though the original Spider-Man movies made you feel warm with childhood nostalgia, you couldn’t deny the fact that Tom truly brought the character to life in a way that no one else could.

When you two met and found out you would be presenting together, you quickly bonded over dealing with relatively newfound fame and nerves over going on stage in front of the whole world. You remembered fondly how the two of you joked about all the different things that could go wrong when you’re up there, thinking of ridiculous and extremely unlikely scenarios to make eachother laugh.

When it was finally your turn to go on stage, Tom grabbed your hand before you two went out. Whether it was to soothe his nerves or yours, you couldn’t tell. Though it definitely did help you to be able to squeeze his hand back as you two approached the mic and read out nominees.

The two of you ended up hanging out together for the rest of the night, and at the end exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch.

You didn’t truly expect to become close to Tom, thought he would just be a distant friend that you mostly spoke to when the two of you were at the same events or happened to be in the same city.

However, he was relentless. You would be lying if you said you didn’t find it annoying at first that he was texting you so often, as you mostly just talked to your close friends from day to day and at the time he was mostly a stranger to you.

He eventually broke through your walls, though, and the two of you became extremely close. Whenever it was possible, one of you would go to visit the other for weeks at a time. Tom always said it was required because he ‘needed Y/N time at least every couple months’.

Tom turned out to be the perfect friend, and you didn’t know what you would do without him. You constantly found yourself thanking the universe for putting the two of you together at the Oscars and allowing you to meet your best friend.

* * *

When you realized your feelings for Tom were more than platonic, it felt as though they had come out of nowhere overnight.

Upon giving it more thought, however, you realized it made perfect sense that you would fall for him. He was the one you wanted to turn to first whenever you had a problem or just needed to talk to someone. He constantly told you how proud of you he was. When he had two weeks off from filming earlier in the year, he chose to come visit you on his time off. He tried to call you at least 3 times a week. Even when the two of you were in completely opposite time zones, he would still text you each day about what he was up to and about things that he thought you would find funny or interesting for you to wake up to, and you would do the same back.

He cared. He really truly cared about you. What else did you expect to happen when a handsome man treats you better than anyone you had ever dated even though he was just your friend.

You guessed it was just one of those things that you don’t notice until you do, but once you do it changes everything. The bubble had burst, the image had shattered, and you were in love with your best friend.

* * *

At first, you had decided you were never going to tell him about how you truly felt. You were just way too scared to let him know. If he didn’t feel the same way, you were sure you would die of embarrassment. You wouldn’t be able to handle being around him if he knew how you felt without reciprocating your feelings.

Over time though, it got harder and harder to live with yourself now that you knew. Hanging out with him no longer felt as comfortable as it was before. You found that you became nervous the longer you were alone from him. His friendly hugs and cuddles no longer felt reassuring, but rather made your stomach twist uncomfortably because you hated that these gestures were nothing more than platonic to him.

But still, you just couldn’t bring yourself to tell him. It was wearing you down, though.

That’s why you thought it might be a good idea to make a pros and cons list about the possibility of telling him. It was silly, but it was something you would do when faced with a tough decision. You were hoping that seeing all the cons listed on a page would help you with dealing with it and moving on.

You broke out a scrap piece of paper, and picked up the first pen you could find, starting to write;

Pros of telling him:

  * On the off chance he feels the same way, I would get to be with Tom.
  * Once I say something to him, he could eventually realize he feels the same way like I did
  * If he doesn’t feel the same way even if our friendship has problems at first maybe we can work through it



You could feel your heart start to race and eyes start to well up with tears as you moved on,

Cons of telling him:

  * He probably doesn’t feel the same way and never will
  * It could end up ruining our friendship completely if he finds it weird
  * It could make him extremely uncomfortable around me after
  * If we get together and break up our friendship is over
  * I don’t know what i would do witho



You stopped writing when you could no longer hold back your tears and one landed on the paper, smudging some ink. You hated this, hated that you had these feelings, hated that you realized they were there, hated that he was so fucking perfect, hated that you did something as stupid as falling for your best friend.

Most of all, you hated that you knew the likely outcome that your feelings are not the same as his, and that cons list included all the reasons why you should not say anything and try to move on.

You looked down at the list as a few tears slid down your face, before growing angry.

_God, why the fuck did this have to happen to me…._

You grabbed the paper, crumpling it up into the smallest ball you could before tossing it in a corner to be forgotten about.

You sat on your couch and allowed your tears to fall freely as you pulled your legs up to your chest and hugged them, resting your head on your knees and letting your frustration out, crying harshly and thinking about this whole situation.

_This is not fair. I’ve worked my ass off, i’ve achieved my dream of acting but what about the bigger picture? I’ve never met someone i felt like this about Tom. Fuck._

_I just want to be loved, want to be cared for in a romantic way, why is that so much to ask. I am so sick of always being alone or with someone who I can never truly be myself around. If they knew me the way Tom does, all of my exes would have ran for the hills the minute they met me._

_Why the fuck doesn’t anyone understand me but him, fuck, why can’t he be in love with me and tell me that._

_Why does he have to be so perf-_  

Your thoughts were interrupted by the slam of your door and a voice calling out your name.

Tom.

_What the fuck… we didn’t have any plans to hang out today, did we?_

You checked your texts with him, trying to see if you had planned something and then forgot, but you saw nothing.

 _What is he doing here? Why the hell did he come now?_  

You frantically stood, collecting the tissues you used and placing the box back on your coffee table, grabbing some in your free hand to wipe your face before turning and going to rush out of the room.  

Maybe if you had checked your phone faster, or not at all, you would have been able to get out of the room and rush to the bathroom as planned.

Instead, when you turned around, wad of tissues wet with your tears in your hand, face red and eyes bloodshot, there was Tom.

_Are you fucking kidding me….._

“Y/N? What’s going on?”

_Of all times he really had to choose this moment to show up?_

You shook your head slightly.

“Nothing.”  

_why is the universe out to get me, seriously, isn’t being in love with someone who sees you as a friend enough?_

Your response was met with the pointed look you expected.

“You’re way too good of an actress to think that would be believable, love.”

_stop it with the cute names for gods sake, I can’t take it if you’re gonna call me love when you don’t love me_

You rolled your eyes, despite knowing he was right, and walked around him to get to the kitchen and throw out the disgusting pile of wet tissue in your hand.

As you entered the hallway you called back to him;

“Just leave it alone, will you?”

But of course he didn’t, and of course he followed after you.

_Can’t I get some fuckin peace around here…_

“Yeah, sure, I walk in and see you holding half a box of used kleenex along with the fact that you look like you’ve been crying for a while judging by your eyes. Of course I’ll leave it alone when you’re obviously hurting really bad about something.”

You didn’t miss the sarcasm lacing his words as you threw everything out and turned around to face him;

“Look, seriously, it’s fine and i’m fine, now why are you here?”

“You can’t change the subject that easily darling, I’ll tell when I know what got you down and if there’s anyone I need to beat up on your behalf.”

_why are you so stubborn!!!!!!_

You huffed and walked back into your living room, plopping down on the couch and looking anywhere but at Tom as he followed you back into the room.

“C’mon, Y/N. You know I’ll never judge you or spill your secrets, just tell me.”

You remained silent.

“Just tell me what you’re upset about, okay?”

“…… I plead the fifth.”

His brows furrowed and he made his signature confused face before asking what the hell that meant.

_are you kidding me…_

“The fifth amendment… it means I decline to answer the question. How do you not know that?”

“I’m not American, why would I know what that is? Look, you know i’m not going to stop asking until you tell me so you might as well do it sooner rather than later.”

_stubborn piece of shit-_

“Fine, okay? The thing is, well….. I don’t know if i’m sure but i’m pretty sure i’m in love with someone..”

You grimaced as you spoke, looking at his face and watching it go from displaying confusion, to shock mixed with what you wished would be sadness.

_Sad at the thought of you loving someone else. If only._

You watched as he broke out into a huge smile;

“What are you crying about then? That’s fantastic news!”

_Idiot._

“No, Tom, you don’t underst-”

“I didn’t know you were seeing someone, why didn’t you tell me? Who is it? Is it someone  from work? Is it Joe?”

“Tom, just list-”

“How long have you been together? Is it a boy or a girl?”

“TOM!”

You broke him out of his endless train of thought and speech, before going on to explain;

“You don’t understand, alright! You don’t get it! I’m in love with someone who doesn’t love me back! So can you shut the fuck up now!”

He looked down in stunned silence for a few moments, before sitting next to you on the couch and putting an arm around you.

“Have you told them how you feel?”

You shook your head.

“So how can you sit here and say you have this unrequited love with someone when you didn’t even ask them? Anyone would be lucky to have you, Y/N, and if they don’t want you then they’re blind, and don’t deserve you, okay? I don’t know how anyone would ever say no to being with you.”

“Not true.”

He rolled his eyes;

“Actually, it is.”

_fuck it, fuck it, fuck this and fuck everything, I don’t care-_

“Fine. I’ll tell them.”

He nodded in approval.

“It’s you.”

Suddenly, that approval was gone and his fear at what you had said was evident.

“Me? I mean, what? Why… Look, Y/N, I love you so much but, y’know like a sister.”

_i swear this fucking tension in the air could be cut with a knife_

You looked down at the floor hating yourself for saying such a stupid thing. So, you did the one thing you knew how to do. You acted.

Taking a deep breath, you found your resolve and forced a smile onto your face and trying your best to make your laughter sound believable.

“I can’t believe you actually fell for that!” you choked out between what you hoped sounded like real laughing.

“Wait…. what?”

_Does he have to look so fucking cute when he’s confused? This is really getting unfair.._

“You’re such a fucking idiot! Of course it isn’t you, but I proved my point didn’t I?”

“Oh fuck off Y/N! Don’t scare me like that, you nearly gave me a bloody heart attack! What the hell would I do without you in my life? Besides, me and you are different than whoever you feel this way about, were best friends. We don’t have any chemistry, but i’m sure whoever it is that you’re into can feel it too.”

“What the hell are you talking about, what do you mean what would you do without me? You wouldn’t want me in your life if it was true?”

“Well, obviously not. That wouldn’t be healthy. Plus it would just be weird, i’m sure you wouldn’t want to hang out with me all the time if I was in love with you.”

 _Fucking. Idiot. Just stop talking, will you?_  

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I’m not in love with you then, huh? You’re too ugly to love.”

“Hey! Rude. Anyway, back to why I came here in the first place, wanna order pizza and watch a movie?”

You nodded before starting to walk away;

“Yeah, just let me go change into something more comfortable. Order the pizza now, okay?”

“Sure. The usual?”

“Why do you always ask that? When have I ever said no, and when have we ever ordered something else?”

You turned to face him and saw his cheeks tinged slightly pink,

“Are you going to be mean to me all night?”

You let out one more fake laugh before walking down the hall to your bedroom. Once you got inside you immediately grabbed onto a pillow to muffle your cries as you finally let out your tears.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there trying to cry as quietly as possible, but eventually, you found the strength to head into your bathroom and wash your face to try and rid yourself of any evidence of your crying.

You looked in the mirror and stared at yourself for a long time.

_What’s so wrong about me?_

You shook your head, giving your face one more glance to make sure you looked presentable. You sighed as you could as you changed into sweatpants and a tank top, facing the reality of this whole fucked up situation.

Your love was, and forever would be unrequited. Tom had made that perfectly clear. To tell him the truth would cost you everything. Maybe he was right, maybe it was unhealthy, but you didn’t care.

He was like a drug to you, you couldn’t get enough of him. If suffering in silence meant you never had to go through him leaving your life altogether, you would do it.

As you made your way back to the living room, for the first time in your life you found yourself wishing you had never become an actress at all.

Then you never would have met Tom, never would have fallen for him, never would have gotten your heart broken, and you wouldn’t feel as shitty as you did right then.

To get rid of that pain, to have never had to know it, well… you’d do anything for that.

You used to think there was nothing in the world that would ever make you regret going into this line of work.

If only you could go back to being that naive.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: amxliaponds.tumblr.com


End file.
